Entry's DATE: Thursday, December 18, 2008
Entry's TITLE: okay.
to my dad.
GOOD JOB DADDY.
i dun care if u'd ever read this and feel angry. irritated. sad. really sad. disappointed or whatever.
cause.. i really dun care anymore.
well. its been 19 years.
i think i more or less know whats dun like means dun like already.
please lar.
its no use telling mom what u dun like about me everytime cause its NOT gonna work until u face the music and accept what you're looking at.
if u cant. then i'm sad to say. I WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU. reason? U DO NOT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES FOR ME TO CHANGE.
please think back to the past years to the nightmares u've once given me before u wanna come talk to me again.
and please.
i'm giving mommy face to call u daddy.
i'm asking u to drive me home cause mom asks me to ask u.
i'm respecting my mom and so i'm trying to respecting u too.
thanks for the ruining of the night again. thanks.
i hate you.
from your son.
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wooohooo.
i dun like this really.
i mean. who would wanna dislike his own father?
no one would want.
who would want happy memories with his dad?
everyone does.
i dunno.
its just.
the feeling isnt right anymore.
i'm trying.
i'm really trying.
to be nicer to him.
treat him better.
respecting him more.
but he just expects MORE AND MORE.
to an extend.
a 19 year old teen CANNOT go out more than 3 days a week.
okay. maybe can go. cause i dun care too.
but he just starts nagging and nagging.
its like.
there's really nothing to do at home u know.
i come home.. i'm totally all alone.
dine myself.
tv myself.
com myself.
sis not home.
mom not home.
he? either his own tv programme or out with friends.
i know. watch tv with him lar.
like i nvr tried.
he just..
NAGS NAGS NAGS AND NAGS
too much can cause harm.
really!
+++nightmares are nightmares.
it already happened.
its all past.
i know i must put them behind me.
but i cant.
his face.. just.. irks me.. to the maximum.
lets go back to primary school.
unlike other kids.
i dun have much toys.
okay. maybe. other kids dun have too.
i have. 3-4 maybe?
cant remember.
but ONE's FOR SURE. i'd never forget.
either primary 2 or 4.
there's this period where. there's a robotic puppy for sale
at WATSONS.
remember? the one u push the button on the head. then talk to it. the eye will change de.
yeps.
i said i wanted.
he bought it for me.
for once. i really felt. VERY HAPPY. my dad bought me a toy! for the first time!
2 weeks later.
test results out.
i didnt fare good.
i treated that toy like its a real dog really.
had a basket..
with nice BLANKET.
and then. happily watching my tv..
he very nicely. walked into grandma's room. ( OH i used to sleep at my grandma's place and room. right opposite my house nia.) took the toy..
walked to the living room.
aimed at the corner and THREW.
HOHOHO.. how nice? VERY NICE.
at that point of time.
my heart totally... smashed.
i really almost wanted to kill him at that time. for killing my dog.
after he left.
i very clearly remembered.
that dog. before it died. =.= gave me the sad eye symbol.
wah. i cry dao. i almost died. =.=
its memories like that.
that counts.
he never once apologised for whatever hurt he caused on me.
not to even mention. getting a new dog for me.
siigh.
its sad. to have a dad like him. really sad.
`theWEAKcat
theweakcat
UPDATED @ 9:44 PM
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